Heartaches
by ArelDarke
Summary: Sebastian has feelings for Claude but was banished from seeing him from his kingdom. Ok summury isn't that good but hope the story is good.
1. Remembering

A/N: I do not own any of the characters below. Although the story idea is mine. Sorry if it's out of character.

* * *

His heart was in pain. He knows his feelings were wrong and unforgivable. _He should just let me die years ago_, he murmured. But no, he had to spare him, by banishing him. That was a worst punishment he can get. Knowing that the one he loves was somewhere in someone else arms ramp around him.

His childhood friend, a Prince that turned King 3 years ago had made an announcement a week ago that he had found someone to be his queen. That was his lift from his banishment. He should go away to another kingdom and start a new life but he just what to see Claude one last time and see if his happy before moving away forever.

As the castle was coming to a full view, his heart quickens and his palm tightens around the reign of his horse. As the minutes goes by, he keeps remembering how he ended up like this.

* * *

He knows he hide his feelings for the prince very well. He cried softly ever time his prince was having a matching party. The moment that the prince found out his feelings was when he went to see him at night. Sebastian was all ready in bed staring at the window beside his canopy bed. He was after all invited with his Master Ciel Phantomhive to the ball.

Claude had went to his bed and start kissing him. He was of course shock and a little happy. But that moment ended when he smells ram all over Claude. Sebastian was heartbroken and plan to move away. But he didn't and he started trashing his fingers all over Claude's body and kissing him back. _Just one night,_ Sebastian said softly. And he knows it's bad.

Claude had taken his shirt of and tearing Sebastian's undergarment off. He looks him deeply in the eye. Golden meets crimson eyes. Sebastian shivers when cold hands trace hispale body. He moans knowing well that Claude wouldn't remember a thing first thing in the morning.

Tears starting to flow from his eyes and he can't take this anymore. He pushes Claude away and run for the exit. But his arm was caught by Claude before even reaching the door and was pulled to an embrace.

"I Love You, Claude" Sebastian almost chanted to the half conscious prince.

He turns around to see a fully awake prince and his eyes were either in disgust or pity. He broke the embrace and runs toward the door leaving the heartbroken butler on the cold stone floor.

The next morning, Sebastian went to see his master's needs before called by the court. He entered the throne room with a very angry Claude and an unpleasant King. Sebastian knew by that time his childhood friend has not returned his feelings for him.

"I don't know what you and Claude disagree in, but I wouldn't tolerate it. It's messing his way of thinking." The King said with a very stern voice. "Just make up all ready. You lads had been friends since you were a mere baby." The rub his face and got up from his throne chair and talk to his son. Claude nod and he call Sebastian to the garden.

As they went he was given a sword. Sebastian's crimson eyes widen. Claude has challenged him to a duel. He either agree or disagree with it. But he saw his master's worried but more annoyed face at the side. He signs and went to his position.

"I would only forgive you if you beat me with a dual." Claude said while pointing his sword at Sebastian. He nods and the duel began.

Sword winging, breaths husfing and crowd ohh and ahhs. Sebastian take his fullest and slash Claude on the arm. He was rather horrified than a victory cry. Claude saw that Sebastian has frozen and take his advantage and swing his sword to stab him. But Sebastian moves away and blocked him.

"Sebastian!" Ciel cried from behind. Sebastian knew then that he must take the Phantomhive butler seriously and take another attack. But that all failed when Claude was inches away from his mouth. He once again froze from his movement.

This time, Claude was able to slash him deep in his chest and a load scream was heard from the servants. Sebastian loses his balance and stumbled to the floor. The pain was intest. But he didn't know which hurts more, the open wounds or his heart both were cause by Claude.

He got up and ready to fight again but was stop by Ciel. "Enough!" was an order given to him. He did stop and stumble back to the ground. Ciel called someone to patch his wound. He turns around to see that Claude was also being patch up by a servant.

Claude eyed him and said in a lifeless voice. "since you lost, I banished you from ever stepping to this palace again." His eyes widen as the sodden realization hit him. Claude didn't only not return his feelings but he was also disgusted by his feelings.

Ciel was arguing but Sebastian stops him. "what about Master Ciel?" his voice was horse as the words came out. Claude was thinking deep and signs. "He can still come but only when invited. You on the other hand can't came at all." He turns around and started walking towards the castle.

"You live in another kingdom anyway." Claude said softly when he was inside his own room.

Sebastian was crying by the time Ciel leave him in his room. "What a pitiful life." Sebastian comment when he stop his crying. He took a deep breath and stare at the sky. The sky was forming cloud indicating a storm was coming. "Perfect." He said to himself. Nature was becoming one with him for he was in a very tainted mood.

* * *

Sebastian stop the carriage besides the rented house near the castle. He went around and helps him now fully grown Master and his wife, Elizabeth down the carriage. He bowed to them before getting their baggage ready.

* * *

A/N: _so how do you guys think? Suggestions will be great. And Thank You for reading_


	2. Plan

"Bocchan, what do you and your Lady want for dinner?" Sebastian said when he finished unpacking everything and went to the study. Ciel was looking out the window to the castle and turns around.

"Nothing." Sebastian was started. It's been four months since his Master has started to act more responsible when they found out that Lizzy was a month pregnant with his first child. He even avoids any invitations so that his wife can rest inside the house.

Though, this event was the exception. Claude was getting married to a foreign woman tomorrow and they were all invited. Except Sebastian, Though he can't really leave his master to the bunch of hooligans. He just has to stay inside this rented house.

"Are you and Lady going out?" Sebastian asked when his master didn't say anything more.

"Yes and I want you to stay inside this house." He was going to argue when Ciel bit him to it.

"We can't take the risk that maybe you'll be spotted by one of Claude's guards." He just nod and was a little annoyed by himself. It only he didn't say anything to Claude back then. He can still be friends with him.

"I understand, Bocchan. But at least bring Mey-rin with you." Ciel just nod and turn back to his old position. Sebastian quietly leave the room and to retire to his room. Then he spotted Elizabeth going down by the stairs. Her tummy is starting to grow and all of her old dresses needed to be adjust so it with fit her growing belly.

"Good afternoon, milady." He bowed and was given a warm smile before running to the study.

As both of them left with Mey-rin, Sebastian retired to his room. He told Finnian and Brad to get dinner somewhere else. He was having a bad mood. Not that it's anything different. But today he was feeling rather depress than his usual anger to the other servants.

He went to bed without dinner. He was wakening up when he heard the horses pulling up the front gate. With a quick pace, Sebastian comb, dress and properly standing by the door away.

"Welcome home Mas—"

As he opened the door for them, Ciel came barging in with a laughing Elizabeth. They turned around and both look at each other before facing Sebastian with a huge grin on their faces.

"Sebastian." Ciel and Elizabeth both said simultaneously. "We both know how much you wanted to see Claude." Ciel said with a serious face. Sebastian was taken back with the sudden change of atmosphere.

He was going to say something when Elizabeth raises her hand. "Don't deny it. We know how much this trip has cost your mood."

"So we plan a way to let you in the party without getting beheaded." Sebastian was not really impress what was coming next. Merrill run towards them and show Sebastian a blue dress. To longer than what Elizabeth should be wearing. Judging how both his masters look and admire the dress and Sebastian. You have to be an idiot to not know what they are planning. _They're going to make me a girl!_ Sebastian mentally protested.

"We're dressing you up as Elizabeth's cou—"

"Sorry for the inconvenient Bocchan but you and your wife shouldn't bother with a likes of me." They both frown.

"You should be jumping with joy that you can go to the ball." Ciel said in an annoyed voice.

"But Boc—"

"No buts. You're dressing up as Lizzy's cousin so you can go to the ball."

"I can't go as Lady Elizabeth's cousin. We don't anything alike." They both nod their but that didn't stop from their plan.

"Sebastian you want to protect your master, right." Sebastian was started. How can Ciel hit below the belt. From his irritated face. Cile knows he had won.

"We just want you to be happy Sebastian." Elizabeth said with a small smile on her angelic face. Sebastian just sighs. This is going beyond a butler should do. He toke the dress from Mey-rin and said thanks to Ciel and Elizabeth for their concern.

"The wedding starts in a week, but they plan on a ball tomorrow night to let everyone a chance to see to future queen." Ciel explain while unconsciously rubbing his wife swollen belly. Sebastian eyed them with jealousy. The aching pain when Claude had rejected his love has come back. All those years, he tired forgetting about him and tried loving someone else. But that didn't work. Every time he goes out with someone Claude always entered his mind. And he hasn't notice until now that the love for Claude has started to turn to hate.

After he sees his Masters to bed he went to his own. He removes his cloths and saw his reflection from the mirror besides the drawer. The scar that Claude had left never faded. It was only a reminder to Sebastian that Claude was never going to be his.

* * *

A/N: So how do you guys think? It might look sloppy because I really didn't descried anything surrounding them. I'm sorry. I'll work on that. Oh and Thanks for reading^^


	3. Ball Dance

Sebastian was in a foul mood. Not only did he humiliate himself by wearing a dress in front of everybody but he had to be inside his Master's crump carriage. It's not really that small but for Sebastian, in a blue dress and high heels. Everything seemed too small to Sebastian. Like suffocating him.

Elizabeth had forced him in the elegant blue dress. It was the latest fashion in town. The sleeves were long and covered his entire forearm. Ciel did say that his arms were to muscular for any well breed female. Cut high enough to put on some fake blossom for him. The corset was really killing him.

Sebastian saw that the castle was getting bigger, his heart was beating faster. His hands were crunching the fan and sweaty, even though he wore a white glove. Ciel turned from his wife to Sebastian, who was sited across them.

"Would you relax? It's not like Elizabeth doesn't have any cousins." Ciel said in a rather angry tone. Elizabeth tried to calm him by getting his attention.

"Sorry, milord. It's just that, it really is embarrassing when I got caught."

"You look cute."

"You wouldn't get caught." Ceil and Elizabeth said simultaneously. Sebastian didn't know which to answer first and so stayed quite.

As they arrived, Sebastian let Ciel and Elizabeth down first before he toke a few breath and following them. He wasn't used to the heels and was having a hard time walking. You can see that he was shaking a little every few steps.

He slowly looked up the steps and saw the whole view of white castle. The walls were clear of vines and spotless. The two staircase lowly curve to the two story wide door. There were a lot of bushes surrounding the castle and guards standing like statues.

"_Just like I remember it"_ Sebastian to himself.

"Now, Sebastian. Elizabeth and I would talk to some off the nobles and you are free to do whatever you what. Just don't go home without us."

"Yes, Bo—I mean, Ciel." Sebastian curtsy and Ciel smiled the approval before escorting Elizabeth somewhere.

Sebastian walked around the hall and admiring the portraits from the walls. From the front door, you can tell that it was arrange by ranks. It was rather odd, to placed your subordinate to let everybody see who was under you.

The ball room was rather noisy with music and people gossiping about the lucky lady that stole the King's heart. Sebastian clenched his teeth in annoyance. He shouldn't be here in the first place but _no_, his Master has to but in.

He walked steadily thru the marbled floor and avoid any contract with anyone. He stepped out of the ball and into the opened air balcony were he and Claude used to have afternoon tea together. A signed came out of Sebastian's mouth. The balcony had so much fun memories together.

He touched the stone railings and look up at the night sky. The moon was big but not it's fullness.

"A lovely night." Sebastian swiftly turned around. He was caught off guard and saw a tall guy in a red tailcoat. He sure hadn't met him and was glad. For a few moments until the guy walked slowly towards him. With his red hair tied in a ribbon and he wore spectacles, just like Claude does.

"I haven't met you before, so—"he extended his hand to shake with Sebastian, which was odd gesture for a male to a female. "I'm Lord Grell Sutcliffe .and you are?" Sebastian raised his brows and opens his fan. He didn't take Grell's hand and so he returned it to his side.

"I'm sorry, but I'm a la—"

"You don't have to pretend." He smirked at the expression given by Sebastian. He was shaking violently, if one person knows his male, then the rest surely will know.

Grell sighed.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't report you." Sebastian was dump fold.

"Why?" came his soft voice. Grell shrug and look at the horizon.

"It's just that you have a sad expression on your face a while ago that you must have a reason not to came here with your true self." Tears were forming in Sebastian's eyes. He toke hold of it and bit his bottom lips. Grell saw this and walk closer to him and caress softly his chin to lessen the strain.

"Don't. You will ruin your perfect lip." He said softly with eye level. Though, Sebastian was tall, Grell seem to have the same height as him.

"H-how did you know?" Sebastian removed his hands from his face and avoids facing him.

"Umm?"

"About, me?" Grell smiled and said in a seductive voice beside his ear.

"I know clearly women to well, because I'm a very famous rake and your angular face gave it away from a close view. Though your pretty in that dress." Sebastian blushed.

"Come on now. Do tell me your name." Grell walked back a little to give him time to think.

"Don't worry, love. I'll protect your secret." he smiled brightly. Sebastian hardly knew him but he was getting on his nerved already.

"Se-Sebastian Michaels, milord." He said with his head bowed like a true butler.

Grell's mouth came to an 'Ah' shape and jumped up and down with energetic.

"You're the Highness' childhood friend!" he shouted. Sebastian quickly covers his mouth and glared at him. He looked behind him to see that no one has noticed the announcement. He sighed a relief and stared at Grell. He hadn't let go of his hand on his mouth.

Grell pry his mouth from the clutches of Sebastian. He didn't mind the sweet smell of him, but he was having hard time breathing.

"I can't believe it. You're the missing friend that everyone was talking about." Sebastian just looked away.

"Why do you have dress like that?" he eyed Sebastian from head to toe. Sebastian liked to smacked his face. It feels like he wasn't wearing anything in the eyes of Grell.

"It's complicated."

"Oh, do tell."

"It's a long story."

"We have all night." He walks and leans on the stone rails and gave Sebastian his full attention.

Sebastian was pits off.

Loud claps had stop Sebastian from murdering Grell at the stop. He turned around and inside the ball room. Sure enough that Claude had arrived with his bride-to-be. He picked up his skirt and runs inside. Unknowingly, Grell was following him.

He stopped death at the sight of Claude. He still looked handsome with all his glory. Sebastian's heart was raising and he was suddenly lightheaded. With his hair combed back, although some of it has fallen to the side making him look dangerous, his spectacle had covered most of his eyes. And Claude was in the center of the room with his fiancé beside him.

Sebastian listened to the crowd and looked at the lucky girl that caught his Claude's heart. She has platinum blond hair that looks almost like silver. Her sun kiss skin gave her exotic beauty a wonderful meaning. And those violets eyes skinning with joy as she greet everyone who congratulates them.

"Congratulations, Your Higness and Lady Hannah." Said a Duke, which to Sebastian's dismay was the same Duke that taught Claude and him how to ride when they were still in Eton.

Everyone then toke turns in congratulating the king and future queen. Sebastian noticed thought that Master Ciel was talking with Elizabeth in a corner. Thinking of that he had enough of tonight that he went to Ciel.

Half way there, someone had caught his forearm. He turn around and was disappointed to see Grell.

"What is it you have with the King?" he asked quietly that only both of them would hear. Sebastia's throat went dry.

"I just don't want him to know I'm here."

"I don't buy it."

"Please just leave me alone." He toke hold of his arm more firmly.

"No." the music started to play again and Grell eye the middle of the ball room. Sebastian's eye widen when he was drugged in the middle and forcedly dance with him. Everyone, he can tell was eyeing on them and even Ciel and Elizabeth was shocked to see him. He blushed and covered tried covering his face but found that both his hands were trapped by Grell's.

"Relax Sebby, I have a plan." He glared at him.

"Don't call me that." He grin his teeth together. They turned around and soon enough everyone even Claude and Hannah came to join. As the music grew everybody's laugh was heard as they ready themselves exchanging partners. Sebastian snap at him.

"This is your plan to my humiliation." Grell chucked.

"Nope Sebby. This is my plan to meet your prince or rather king." Sebastian was about to bit back but Grell release him and gave to the person beside him. An earl. He smiled at Sebastian with a creepy face. But he did smile back.

These continue with a Duke, two Marques and Master Ciel, who commented with a cheeky smile. "Having fun, Sebastian?"

Finally he went to the hands of his prince. Sebastian trembled as he came face to face with Claude. He tried to act normal and so toke his courage and look at him stragh in the eye. "Cong—" he stop dead when he was Claude's eye. Those wide golden eyes really toke a strong bite at him. "Do I know you?" he asked as they circle around.

"N-no, your highness." He looked away and was returned to Grell and the music stop. Everybody bowed at their partner and claps.

"SO who did it go?" Grell was prying anything out of him. Sebastian ignored him and looked at Claude who was looking straight back at him with a questionable expression. He returned his attention to Grell who was yapping away that Sebastian wasn't interested.

He walked with Grell into the balcony again, ignoring the presence of someone staring at him like a needle hummering thru his back.

* * *

A/N: So what do you guys think? Comments are welcome and Thank you for taking your time in reading


	4. Library

"Then Lady Lin—"

"Just shut it." Sebastian snapped at the non-stop talking, Grell, who didn't even notice the dismay Sebastian, was giving.

"Someone was really in a fool mood." Grell changed his leg position in the stone bench they shared out in the garden. The castle light was enough to give them enough brightness without lightning a candle. Sebastian griped his skirt causing it to slightly tire. Grell saw this and tried to smooth him with words. But that only provoked Sebastian's anger.

"Why are you even with me?" Sebastian jerked his head up to face Grell for the first time since they went here from the ball. Grell smiled, showing his teeth which were a little sharp for anyone's comfort,

"Because you look like you're going to kill someone." Sebastian glared at him.

"Yes, starting with you." His voice was deeply and confident that he really can. Grell hold both his hands up in surrender and giggled slightly.

"Now, why would Sebby do that to his friend?"

"Don't call me that!" Grell just butterfly eye him.

"And we're not friends."

"How about fiancé, then?"

"What?" Sebastian jumped from his seat and started walking back to the castle. Grell followed him and hold his forearm, Preventing Sebastian from going any further.

"Let go." He tired pulling but had stopped when he saw the look on the other's face. He was dead serious. All of his carefree features were whipped out with a rigid lips and blade like eyes.

"Funny, how handsome you look even in a dress." Grell's mouth was inches away from him. He can feel the hot breath coming from the other, then the softness of his lips. Grell was licking his tongue to gain access to Sebastian's lip. When he slipped the tongue in pain all he can feel. He quickly pulled back and tasted the rusted flavor of blood.

"You bit me!" as he stepped a few feet apart.

"Serves you right." Sebastian said coldly and started walking up to the castle. Grell just smile and touch his lips with the tip of his fingers. "I like a little challenge, Sebby."

As Sebastian was circling the ball to find his Master, he felt an arm grab him from behind. Expecting to see the annoying four eyed "Let g—"he shoved hard but was rather shocked to see Claude.

"Y-your Highness! I'm sorry; I didn't know it was you." He bowed and he was release and stared at the floor. Claude just inspected him from head to toe and circle him.

Sebastian hated this. He felt like wearing nothing in front of everyone.

"Are you related to Sebastian Michaels?" Sebastian's head pop up and stared at him. Claude raised an eyebrow and kept on circling him. Some of the guests were staring to whisper behind them, though Sebastian was rather busy keeping his heart at check.

"I guess the silent is true." He stop in front of him and looked him straight in the eye.

"Come with me for a second." Claude walked out of the room and into the hall. Sebastian's mind was telling to run to the other side of the room but he just swallowed and follows him. Music had started to play again and everyone forgot what had happen.

Both of their shoes were echoing thru the huge hall. He followed Claude to a room that he memorized as the main study room, where they shared countless memories. As Claude closed the door, the music was almost shot from the room and a few candles were lighten. Sebastian looked around and was rather amazed at how things were still at their proper place. Rows of ceiling to floor shelves flied with books, a huge rug on the middle of the oblong room. The curtains covered the windows that he knows over look the garden were he left Grell. A huge globe was beside the desk and a portrait of the late king hanged on the right side of the room.

Claude walked behind Sebastian and whispered in his ear. "Tell me, what brings you here Sebastian?" Sebastian stiffens when Claude hugged him from behind. "I'm not that gullible to not see your disguise, Sebastian." He licked his neck and was pleased to see that Sebastian reacted to him.

"C-Claude, l-let go." He sounded weak. He digs his nails into Claude's forearm.

"I missed you." Claude gave butterfly kisses to his neck and twisted his head to face him. He kissed him, hard. Their tongues were fighting for dominance. Though Claude won the battle and roams his hands around Sebastian hips.

Sebastian gave a loud moan and was losing his mind. When Claude pulled back he looked at him with teary eyes.

"You tasted of different male." Claude's voice was horse. Sebastian swallowed and was pushed down on the carpeted floor.

"You have been playing around with other men, Sebastian? Are you really that low?" Claude was almost shouting at him but Sebastian just looked at him and said.

"I didn't." he gave a stern look at him. "But what is it to you?" Sebastian sits up and grained his teeth.

"You're the one who really doesn't want to be with me." Claude just looked him and sighs.

"If only you were a girl." Sebastian's eyes widen.

"Then what? You would do more than kissing? You left me when I told you I love you."

"It's because you're a male, Sebastian!"

"So what? That never really stops other people." Claude angrily combs his hair back. Sebastian looked with amazement. Even though he was angry, he never really stops loving Claude. Though he wouldn't say that aloud anymore. Past experiences has it's told.

"It's not that simp—"

"Just because you're the prince you think you can do whatever you want. Do you?" Sebastian crossed his arms and stare at Claude. Claude could see that Sebastian still cares about him even for a little. His crimson eyes were furious and betrayed but when you look pass it. You can see that there was a speck of happiness seeing him. He may be too proud to admit that he too was saddened, to see his beloved in this state. He sighed and got up to the window. He opened a few inches of curtain and let the room brighter by the moon light.

"It's not that I left you." He said while looking straight into the garden. He heard a snort by the other and turned around. Sebastian was still sited on the floor but his arms were behind him. His crimson eyes look at him with pain, anger and… it that lust? Claude wondered.

"You also left a scar behind, remember?" Sebastian traces the stare hidden by the gown.

"You banished me, because you though my feelings were only for your power. You though that I would steal your place at the throne." Claude just stared at him. Though Sebastian strike a blow when the next few words came out of his mouth. "But I think you were jealous of me. Because your father loved me more than his real son!"Claude finally felt guilty after all this years. He shouldn't have let his father's word came and get him. He should have believed his childhood friend. If he did, Sebastian wouldn't be this vulnerable and at the same time in defense mood. He walks toward him and hugged him like a mother found her lose child.

"F-forgive me, Sebastian." Though, Sebastian didn't return his hug. He felt at peace when all of his pain was finally out. He sighed when he heard Claude's gasped of pain.

"Now, were even." Sebastian said with a cold stare and a smiling face. Claude pulled back and removed the small knife on his left shoulder. He saw blood but he knows that it was only a shallow wound. Sebastian wound never do something to permanently damage him. He covered the wound with his hand and looked at Sebastian's crying face.

"You made me into this." Sebastian's hiccup every few words. He tried smoothing him with words and a gesture pat here and there. Though the pain was numbing him, he tried to stay awake for Sebastian.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. Please don't cry anymore."

"How could I not? I have hurt you." He said between sobs.

"But so did I. so please stop?" Claude lifted his chin to look at him, Sebastian shivers when he felt their lips touched. He grips his jacket and started to pull it off. Claude saw his intention but the lost of blood had made it harder to register.

"Sebas—"

"Oh, it's not what you think. Let me just help you with your wound." Claude just nabbed. He didn't have a chose. If he wanted to go back to the party unsuspicious, he had to listen to Sebastian. He might change to his spare cloths later.

Sebastian place the jacket on the floor and started to unbotton his shirt. the blood surely would stain his white shirt so Sebastian used the (newly torn) cloth to tie the wound. he know he didn't really penerate any bones. So Claude would be fine. But he sure did feel a little guilty placing another scar on his beloved.

* * *

A/N: Sorry I took so long to finish this short(failed) chapter. I really planned to write this before school started but I lost track of time and then school started. Comments are open on my spelling. (I really need to improve that) I'm still glad you guys are still with me. Thanks for reading and have a nice day!


End file.
